Rules Are Meant to Be Broken Page 12

going to die for me, to save my life. There. Are you fucking

  happy now?” Christian glared at them both.

  “Anything else?” Michael asked bleakly.

  “Yes. She told me Doyle had dreamt we were going to

  be six for a short time, then one of us would leave but not

  forever, and another of us would die. She said within a year

  our family would number ten and we would get larger stil in

  preparation for what was coming. She said I would find her

  missing children,” his voice trembled and again Michael

  refrained from reaching for him.

  “How?” Kerr demanded.

  “Who?” Michael asked at the exact same time.

  “She didn’t say, and she didn’t tel me when.” Christian

  lowered his voice. “Kerr, Charm scares me, and I don’t

  mean a little bit. I mean in a whole humongous kind of way.

  She just gets so caught up in these dreams and starts

  spouting al this stuff. It’s just so fucking eerie. It feels as

  though if she keeps saying it out loud then it wil come true.”

  Christian was rubbing his arms as if his skin was crawling.

  Michael agreed wholeheartedly with Christian.

  “She’s okay,” Kerr said defensively.

  Michael thought Kerr just didn’t want to admit how he

  was feeling the exact same thing as they were, even though

  he had come to understand Kerr truly cared for Charm. It

  was almost exactly how felt about Gypsy. You only had to

  see the two of them together to know that the feeling was

  mutual.

  “I never said she wasn’t. You know I love her to death. Al

  I said is she scares me. A lot, ” Christian mumbled as he

  stroked Drack’s head and abruptly changed the subject.

  “Who do you think wil be the next to join our family?”

  “I don’t know.” Kerr swal owed hard.

  Needing a subject change, Michael tried think of

  something normal to say, but nothing came to him. Al he

  could do was lay there and listen as the weird conversation

  went on.

  “Do you think she is right? I mean about the dying?”

  Christian asked.

  “Honestly I don’t know. I hope not.” He headed toward

  the door. “We wil have to wait and see.” Kerr stared long

  and hard at both of them before he turned and left.

  “That’s not the only thing she told you, is it?” Michael had

  closed his eyes again and rested his head against the wal .

  If he couldn’t see Christian’s face then he wouldn’t see

  anything to confuse him any more than he already was.

  “There’s something you don’t want Doyle and Kerr to know.

  Something you…” Michael let the sentence trail off. He felt

  the side of the bed sink under Christian’s weight and knew

  he had moved closer to sit beside him.

  “Yes. She told me something else,” Christian answered

  quietly.

  “Was it about me?” Michael prayed it wasn’t but he knew

  deep down inside it would be.

  “Yes, it was something about both of us.”

  Michael squinted, lifting his lids just enough to watch

  Christian as he plucked nervously at the bedspread.

  Ful y opening his eyes, Michael focused on Christian’s

  face. It was troubled. “She told you I was in love with you,

  didn’t she?” Michael asked calmly, even though his insides

  were shaking like a leaf.

  “No.” Christian shook his head. “She told me I was in

  love with you, and in time you would feel the same way

  about me. She told me al the dreams were real.”

  Feeling slightly uncomfortable, he clenched his hands on

  the bedspread while he listened. Michael wanted to turn

  away but Christian’s gaze held him prisoner.

  “Loving me is why you wil die to save me. Because I’m

  in love with you,” Christian ended in a whisper.

  Suddenly Michael wanted desperately to reach out and

  touch him. “Are you?” He asked softly.

  “Yes. No. I don’t know.” He wouldn’t look at Michael

  directly. “I think I could be…for you. If you wanted me to. I do

  have some kind of feelings for you.” He stared at Michael.

  “But I don’t know if they are me or the damn dreams. I just

  don’t know.”

  Not knowing how to real y answer Michael asked

  instead, “Do you think I’m in love with you? Have I ever

  done anything which has given you the impression I might

  be gay?”

  Christian remained silent but he nodded.

  “Wel ?”

  “You’ve kissed me in your sleep.”

  “Holy fuck!” Michael’s eyes widened in surprise. He

  hadn’t realised Christian had been awake the night he

  licked the cut on his lip.

  “How did you—” At the confusion on Christian’s face he

  changed his mind and asked, “When?”

  To Michael, it seemed like Christian was embarrassed.

  “The day we had the visitation,” he mumbled. “I was trying to

  wake you up and you turned and just kissed me.” He blew

  out a breath.

  Shock fil ed Michael to learn he had kissed Christian

  again. “Is there anything else?”

  “When we were up in the attic you didn’t want me to

  leave. You slept with your arm around me. You hold me

  most nights. You hold me close in your sleep.”

  “Is there anything else?” Michael already had doubts in

  his own mind over whether or not he was that way inclined.

  He just needed to know what else he had done and hadn’t

  realized he had done it.

  “Last night you… I mean, when you were out with that

  guy…” and again Christian appeared as if a world of hurt

  was rushing through him.

  “He was nothing,” Michael butted in. “Nothing happened.

  I told you I didn’t fuck him,” he shrugged. “I was hungry so I

  let him take me home. He’s probably wondering where the

  hel I went, and wondering what we actual y did. But I swear I

  didn’t fuck him. I couldn’t.”

  “What did you do? Did you do anything?” Christian

  stared at Michael.

  Michael wasn’t sure if Christian truly wanted to hear the

  answer so he lied. “He kissed me a lot. Can I ask you

  something?” He waited until Christian nodded before

  continuing. “Why did you leave? The club, I mean. I saw you

  walk out when we were dancing, and I wondered why.”

  “I don’t know. I just couldn’t watch you be with him.”

  Christian spread his fingers out on the bed. Michael hated

  the fact, knowing it was his fault how Christian wouldn’t look

  at him.

  Studying Christian’s face Michael watched his reaction.

  “Do I disgust you now? I mean because of what I did? I

  know I hurt you somehow, and I swear I never meant to.”

  “No! Now it is my turn to ask you a question.”

  Michael whispered, “Yes, you can ask me anything.”

  “I just wanted to know… I mean, I just need to know. Are

  you gay? I know you told me you weren’t, but sometimes it

  seems, and I want to…” Christian glanced at Michael. Then

  he dropped his gaze back to the bedspread, without

/>   finishing what he was going to say. “Please, just tel me.”

  “I don’t know. I didn’t used to think I was. I wasn’t when I

  was alive, I know this much at least. Even though I believed

  it was wrong when Rhys was kissing me, I have to be

  honest and say a part of me didn’t think it was half bad. I

  think I just realised kissing is kissing, and honestly, I have

  always enjoyed kissing.” He shook his head, knowing he

  was saying it al wrong. “I’m never going to be able to kil

  them, or real y attack anyone, so I decided to try a different

  approach to feeding. I needed to do it my way, not Kerr’s

  way, if that makes sense.”

  “You decided to seduce them so they wil give you what

  you need without a struggle?” Christian seemed relieved

  now that he knew where Michael was coming from.

  “I thought it was worth a shot. But then I saw you walk

  away, and I thought maybe I got it wrong because you

  seemed to be confused, or hurt, or something like that. And

  then I felt bad because it was my fault you were upset. I

  didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  “I was. It confused and hurt me because you chose to be

  with him and not me. I thought if you were going to be gay

  you should have at least asked me first. I mean we share

  the same bed — it would be so damn convenient.” A smirk

  tugged at the corner of his mouth.

  When Michael saw Christian smile he knew he was only

  half joking. While he took in what Christian was saying, he

  decided to change the subject for the moment so he could

  work out just what he wanted to say to Christian.

  “Why do you always touch my scar when you think I’m

  asleep?”

  Christian flinched. “I don’t know. I was just wondering

  what or rather how you got it.”

  “High school prank by my cousin. Actual y, it was more of

  a high school war with my cousin. I ended up running face

  first into a barbed wire fence, courtesy of his feet. Besides

  the immense pain, it didn’t matter. You know the whole

  ‘chicks dig scars’ thing? It is actual y true, or so I’m led to

  believe.” Michael tried to sound as though it never mattered

  in the slightest. “Honestly I always thought I was kinda girlie

  looking. Gypsy said the scar gave me an edge, though the

  girls stil thought I was a total spunk — their words not mine.

  She told me the lunchtime gossip was I was hot.”

  “You are,” Christian answered, his eyes stayed focused

  on the bedspread with intensity, not daring to meet

  Michael’s gaze. It was as if he didn’t want Michael to see

  the true emotion in his eyes.

  Michael stil felt confused by how they were talking about

  this so openly. “What? Girlie looking, a total spunk, or hot?”

  His fingertips reached out and touched Christian’s where

  they were spread out on the bed. Then he relaxed just a bit

  more when Christian didn’t snatch them away as he

  caressed Christian’s fingers.

  “Al of the above. I think most people would find you

  attractive. I think Kerr is under the assumption Charm is in

  love with you.”

  “He was, but those dreams told him my heart would

  belong to you.” Christian raised his eyes. They stared at

  each other for a long time before Michael broke the silence.

  “I can’t say the dreams are right, but I can’t honestly say I

  want them to be wrong. When I first met you, I thought you

  were a bit of a dork, and then I found I like you. You’re funny.

  Then the whole gay issue came up and it threw me

  because I had never thought of you romantical y. Wel

  maybe I did think you were gay.”

  Christian rol ed his eyes.

  Chuckling, Michael continued. “Then Kerr told me how I

  was going to love you more than the others. Even though I

  denied it, I started seeing you in a different light. I did think

  about you. Not in a sexual way, because I stil wasn’t gay.

  Wel I didn’t think I was, not then at least. I just thought about

  you differently, but now I — you know, it real y doesn’t help

  we are sharing the same bed.”

  Michael studied Christian’s face, hoping he would say

  something. Right now he didn’t want Christian thinking he

  was a total nutter. When Christian stil hadn’t spoken,

  Michael went on. “I’l sleep in the attic if you prefer.”

  Nerves ate at Michael as Christian stayed quiet for a

  long time before he final y managed to say. “When I first

  saw you, the night Doyle and I watched you, the night we

  fed you. I thought you were so beautiful. You have beautiful

  eyes, too pretty to be a guy’s. I thought you were the most

  gorgeous guy I had ever seen. Sometimes I stil think you

  are.” Christian acted as though he felt guilty for having

  feelings for Michael.

  Sadness washed over him as Michael made to get up

  off the bed. “Should I go to the attic?”

  Reaching out a hand, Christian stopped him. “No.” His

  hand rested over Michael’s. “I want you to stay. You belong

  in this room…with me.”

  Slowly Michael turned his hand as Christian had done in

  the nightclub. “I think I would like to hold your hand now.”

  Relief fil ed him as Christian spread his fingers, al owing

  Michael’s to slip between them.

  “Okay.”

  Christian bit his lip and the one smal gesture of their

  joined hands felt so right to Michael. Right then, he felt a

  huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders and his heart.

  “What happens now?” Michael relaxed back into the bed

  with relief. His own dreams were tel ing him he was that

  way inclined , at least in regards to Christian. Was it now

  time for his life to catch up with the dreams? Was it time for

  him to final y come out of the closet and admit he knew

  Christian was the person he wanted to be with?

  “I don’t know.” Christian moved so he was lying down on

  his side of the bed. He had one arm folded behind his head

  while the other stil held Michael’s hand as he stared at the

  ceiling. To Michael he appeared as though he wasn’t sure

  how to explain exactly what he wanted to happen between

  them.

  Lying there, Michael watched as Christian struggled to

  come to terms with what they were now discussing. He was

  afraid Christian would push him away, start laughing at him,

  and tel him it was al a joke. His fear bit deep.

  “What are you thinking about?” Michael asked as he slid

  back down into the bed. Rol ing on his side he faced

  Christian, watching as he studied the ceiling. He couldn’t

  take his eyes off of Christian’s mouth, the way Christian

  chewed on his lower lip in thought. Michael couldn’t stop

  remembering how soft and warm it had felt under his and

  he wondered what Christian would think of it al . And the

  fact that Michael wanted to do it again.

  “I’m trying to decide when I turned gay. Whether this is a

  new thing because you’re hot or whether I was
born this

  way. I just know everything inside of me wants you and it

  confuses me a little. I can’t real y remember my past too

  wel . I can’t ever remember being with a man before, so I

  can’t understand why I want to be with you so damn much.

  But if I am honest, when you kissed me, and when I woke

  up in your arms, I didn’t get freaked out like I should have. I

  real y enjoyed waking up with you wrapped around me.”

  Christian’s gaze dropped to Michael’s scar. Michael

  thought it was so Christian didn’t have to meet his gaze.

  “And I real y do find you as sexy as hel .”

  Heat raced through Michael’s body and he just knew his

  pale skin was turning beet red.

  “Do you think the dreams are right?” Christian asked as

  he pinched the bridge of his nose.

  It made Michael bite the inside of his cheek to stop

  himself from laughing. Christian looked so damn serious

  and so damn cute al at the same time.

  “Do you think we have these feelings because of them?

  The dreams, I mean.”

  “I haven’t got a freaking clue.” Michael’s mirth fled and it

  left him feeling awkward. He had never real y discussed his

  feelings before with a guy. “Maybe, they—” his words were

  cut off as Christian suddenly let go of his hand, flipped onto

  his side, and without pausing, leant in and kissed him. It

  was hard and rough and not very wel thought out, though

  neither of them seemed to be in a hurry to break apart.

  Brain turning to mush, Michael groaned into Christian’s

  mouth as Christian’s arms wrapped around him and pul ed

  him closer.

  “Wel ,” Michael said as Christian final y let him go. “That

  was unexpected,” he added as Christian laid a hand

  against his cheek, his thumb caressing him gently.

  “I’m not sure if I’m gay, but let’s face it, I probably am,

  especial y because of the way I feel about you. But for now I

  think kissing wil be okay.” Christian leaned in, and this time

  he took his time as he kissed Michael. His tongue gently

  traced the contours of Michael’s mouth, before seeking

  entry, and Michael absolutely loved it. A smal shiver ran

  through Christian, and Michael knew he must have been

  doing something right for Christian to react the way he did.

  As the kisses gentled out and became smoother,

  Michael thought Christian’s mouth was so soft beneath his

  own. Somehow, as strange as this was, it felt so damn